Epitome of Beauty
by MyonMyon
Summary: Basically, drabble for a whole bunch of crack pairings created with Halrloprillalar's Drabble-matic. The names and words inputted were done by myself and a few friends while dying of laughter.
1. Bowlcut x Mrs Satsuki

_((For reference, we nicknamed Mako "Bowlcut" and Ragyou "Mrs Satsuki"))_

* * *

**The Battle For The Swag Loads Of Money**

In a house, Mrs Satsuki murderedeededed her swag loads of money. She had been busy with the swag loads of money for hours and now wanted nothing more than an otaku cuddle or a hot massage from her lover Bowlcut.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her fergalicious Bowlcut appeared at the door, grinning fergaliciously.

"Put down the swag loads of money," Bowlcut said beautifully. "Unless you want me o murder that swag loads of money on your phallanges."

Mrs Satsuki put down the swag loads of money. She was ratchet. She had never seen Bowlcut so bootyful before and it made her rainbows.

Bowlcut picked up the swag loads of money, then withdrew a tree from her fingernail. "Don't be so ratchet," Bowlcut said with a bootyful grimace. "A Satsuki's Eyebrows bit my apples of her cheeks this morning, and everything became indescribable. Now with this swag loads of money and this tree I can beautifully rule the world!"

Mrs Satsuki clutched her swaggie apples of her cheeks rainbowly. This was her lover, her fergalicious Bowlcut, now staring at her with a bootyful fingernail.

"Fight it!" Mrs Satsuki shouted. "The Satsuki's Eyebrows just wants the swag loads of money for his own fergalicious devices! He doesn't love you, not the otaku way I do!"

Mrs Satsuki could see Bowlcut trembling rainbowly. Mrs Satsuki reached out her phallanges and touched Bowlcut's fingernail beautifully. She was fergalicious, so fergalicious, but she knew only her swaggie love for Bowlcut would break the Satsuki's Eyebrows's spell.

Sure enough, Bowlcut dropped the swag loads of money with a thunk. "Oh, Mrs Satsuki," she squealed. "I'm so otaku, can you ever forgive me?"

But Mrs Satsuki had already moved in a house. Like a fart that never made any sounds but caused pain for everyone within a twenty kilometre radius., she pressed her phallanges into Bowlcut's fingernail. And as they fell together in an indescribable fit of love, the swag loads of money lay on the floor, rainbows and forgotten.


	2. More Bowlcut x Mrs Satsuki

**Rainbows Lang Syne**

Mrs Satsuki sipped gracefully at her drink and stood rainbows behind a booty. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel hot and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how bootyful her fingernail got when she was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Mrs Satsuki knew very well why she was at the party: to see Bowlcut.

Ah, Bowlcut. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her sparkley apples of her cheeks made Mrs Satsuki's heart beat like a fart that never made any sounds but caused pain for everyone within a twenty kilometre radius..

But tonight everyone was masked. Mrs Satsuki peered fergaliciously through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Bowlcut. There, she thought, the woman over by the tree, the indescribable one with the Satsuki's Eyebrows mask. It had to be Bowlcut. No one else could look so fergalicious, even in a Satsuki's Eyebrows mask.

She began to walk Mrs Satsuki's way and Mrs Satsuki started to panic. What if she actually talked to Mrs Satsuki?

Bowlcut came right up to Mrs Satsuki and Mrs Satsuki thought that she was going to faint.

"Hello," Bowlcut said rainbowly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the swag loads of money," Mrs Satsuki said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so ratchet.

Just then, an otaku voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Mrs Satsuki's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Bowlcut might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Bowlcut swept Mrs Satsuki into her arms, bent her in a house, and kissed Mrs Satsuki quickly, slipping her the tongue and groping her phallanges.

Mrs Satsuki could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out beautifully and pulled Bowlcut's mask off her face. It was Bowlcut! "I knew it was you," Mrs Satsuki said and took her own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Bowlcut said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Mrs Satsuki watched her go. She would be right back, Mrs Satsuki was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.


	3. DTR x Guts

**I'm Dreaming Of An Ewww Gross Christmas**

It was Christmas Eve. Deeteearu sat snekkily in a bathroom, sipping sexxyy heyyyy eggnog.

He looked at the snek purple light hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Bowlcut's Dog had hung it there, just before they looked at each other SCIENCEy and then fell into each other's arms and ate each other's visual cortex.

If only I hadn't been so green, Deeteearu thought, pouring a fast like sonic amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Bowlcut's Dog might not have got so generic and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a ganondorf tear and held his amygdala in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a self-rising voice lifted MATHEMATICALLY up in song.

_"I'm dreaming of an ewww gross Christmas_

_Just as thick as Satsuki's eyebrows"_

Deeteearu ran to the door. It was Bowlcut's Dog, looking SHINY all over with snow.

"I missed you artfully," Bowlcut's Dog said. "And I wanted to eat your visual cortex again."

Deeteearu hugged Bowlcut's Dog and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Bowlcut's Dog said.

"I think so too," Deeteearu said and they ate each other's visual cortex until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted DUCKEN sternum and lived elusively until Deeteearu got drunk again.


	4. More DTR x Guts

**The Battle For The Shrek**

In a bathroom, Deeteearu ate his shrek. He had been busy with the shrek for hours and now wanted nothing more than an ewww gross cuddle or a generic massage from his lover Bowlcut's Dog.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his fast like sonic Bowlcut's Dog appeared at the door, grinning snekkily.

"Put down the shrek," Bowlcut's Dog said elusively. "Unless you want me to eat that shrek on your visual cortex."

Deeteearu put down the shrek. He was sexxyy heyyyy. He had never seen Bowlcut's Dog so green before and it made him snek.

Bowlcut's Dog picked up the shrek, then withdrew a purple light from his amygdala. "Don't be so sexxyy heyyyy," Bowlcut's Dog said with a green grimace. "A DUCKEN bit my sternum this morning, and everything became self-rising. Now with this shrek and this purple light I can elusively rule the world!"

Deeteearu clutched his SHINY sternum artfully. This was his lover, his fast like sonic Bowlcut's Dog, now staring at him with a green amygdala.

"Fight it!" Deeteearu shouted. "The DUCKEN just wants the shrek for his own fast like sonic devices! He doesn't love you, not the ewww gross way I do!"

Deeteearu could see Bowlcut's Dog trembling artfully. Deeteearu reached out his visual cortex and touched Bowlcut's Dog's amygdala elusively. He was fast like sonic, so fast like sonic, but he knew only his SHINY love for Bowlcut's Dog would break the DUCKEN's spell.

Sure enough, Bowlcut's Dog dropped the shrek with a thunk. "Oh, Deeteearu," he squealed. "I'm so ewww gross, can you ever forgive me?"

But Deeteearu had already moved in a bathroom. As thick as Satsuki's eyebrows, he pressed his visual cortex into Bowlcut's Dog's amygdala. And as they fell together in a self-rising fit of love, the shrek lay on the floor, snek and forgotten.


	5. Nonon x Satsuki's Eyebrows

**Kawaii Desu Ne Love**

Nonon-chan-san-sama finished packing. Ever since Satsuki's Eyebrows-sama-senpai-ojou, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Nonon-chan-san-sama had been kawaii.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing doki doki'd her, all was so sugoi. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going inside the heart of japan to become a desu mango.

Just then, there was a desu knock at the door. Nonon-chan-san-sama opened it and stood there arigatouly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her haato.

When Nonon-chan-san-sama came to, Satsuki's Eyebrows-sama-senpai-ojou was holding her kokoro and looking desu. "My rabu," Satsuki's Eyebrows-sama-senpai-ojou said subarishilly, "I'm sorry for the kakkoii shock. I've been shipwrecked on an ugu island for the last ten years, living like purple meduka spending all her life resetting timelines to bring back her lesbeonn girl fran. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my animu-eyes in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Nonon-chan-san-sama could hardly believe her Satsuki's Eyebrows-sama-senpai-ojou had returned. "I will always love you, animu-eyes or no animu-eyes. Besides, you can cover it up with a pocky."

They embraced desuly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was desu.


	6. Senketsu x Junketsu

**The Guts Prince**

Sensen was walking through a spoopy meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a tiny little Guts lying under a tree.

Sensen skipped over to see the dear thing and was stupid to find that he was hurt! A MANKANSHOKU had pierced his smokey little eyebrow and he whimpered lovingly with the pain.

"My bloody little friend," Sensen said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the MANKANSHOKU, as bloodily as he could. The Guts cried out and Sensen's heart ached, like the blood of a thousand ryuukos gloriously raining down on the lush green fields of the honouji academy tennis courts. "You'll be all right," Sensen whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Junjun and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Junjun up in his arms, Sensen carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Sensen nursed Junjun, cleaning his eyebrow and feeding him Verb-brand Guts chow.

On the eighth night, Junjun climbed into bed with Sensen. He burrowed under the covers and hatofully slapped Sensen's sleeve. It made Sensen giggle and he cuddled close to Junjun, stroking his nostrils and singing rainboely to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Sensen hurried home so he could curl up with Junjun. It gave him a strong feeling whenever Junjun slapped his sleeve.

Then one night, Junjun looked up at Sensen and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a kakkoii prince."

Sensen screamed dramatically, he was so surprised. How could a Guts talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Junjun said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Sensen said and kissed Junjun on his nostrils. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a kakkoii prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Junjun," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Sensen said.

"See?" Junjun said and showed Sensen the scar from the MANKANSHOKU on his eyebrow. Then he kissed Sensen and they tumbled in a wardrobe and did a lot of very fabulous things, some of them involving a desu swag loads of money.

"I love you," Junjun said when they were done. Sensen clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Junjun had stashed away.

And if Junjun didn't know about Sensen's visits to the Guts sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.


End file.
